How to chase your writing dreams without despair

Have you been there? Crunching the numbers to figure out how you can hit your target word count sooner or make your finances work to go full-time as a writer. It can be rough. But despair isn’t inevitable.

I love setting goals—I’m actually quite obsessive about it.

There are few things in life more satisfying than setting a goal, working toward it, and watching my progress tick closer to the finish line until finally…success! Then, it’s on to a new target, and a new set of milestones. 

Overall, goal setting has been a positive force in my life—I’ve worked my way to some amazing accomplishments.

But goals have a dark side. 

The very act of setting a goal requires us to identify something that is lacking in our lives. As soon as we start examining that gap, we invite despair into our lives. 

But despair isn’t inevitable. It only creeps in when the gap between where we are and where we want to be feels insurmountable. 

Some people avoid despair by only setting small goals—a daily word count, sending one short story off on submission—and yes, that strategy can help us focus on little wins. But if we only focus on small goals, we miss the opportunity to create a vision for our futures and can accidentally limit our potential before even getting started.

I believe that setting a vision for your writing life and is crucial, no matter what kind of goals you have for yourself. The trick is making sure that vision setting doesn’t become a source of anxiety and depression. 

I know the risks of goal setting because I’ve been there. 

When the pandemic hit and turned my life as a teacher upside down, I turned toward writing with a new sense of desperation. I’d always had a secret dream of becoming a full-time writer, but as my teaching career began to feel increasingly unhealthy and unsustainable, I started to want that full-time writer life RIGHT NOW.

I would look at my makeshift office/classroom, pop another Advil for the inevitable Zoom induced headache, and wish for things to be different. But all I could see in front of me was a huge, uncrossable chasm.

Since I wasn’t in a financial position to quit my day job (and had some very specific reasons to stick around for my students), I had to find a way to keep working toward big writing goals in a way that respected my current life circumstances. 

It wasn’t always easy, but I did it. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way: 

1) Don’t be afraid to dream big; but focus on your circle of control 

It’s great to have publication goals. But, as you turn those visions into an action plan, focus on the parts of the journey that you have power over.

Instead of setting a goal to get an agent by 2024, set goal dates for finishing your query letter draft, getting feedback from writing pals, making a list of agents, and sending out your first round of queries.

If you’re self-publishing, don’t structure your goals around a certain income or sales number. Instead, set a goal around marketing—decide how many book influencers you want to reach out to or set a goal for running a certain number of ad campaigns on Amazon or Facebook this month.

There are plenty of metrics you can choose from. Just make sure you control your own success. As soon as you choose a metric you don’t have control over, you’ve set yourself up to fail.

2) Look at the roundabout pathways that could bring your goal closer

There is more than one way to achieve your writing goals. If you want to publish, don’t commit to a certain pathway. You might discover that traditional publishing isn’t the best option for your niche. Alternatively, if you realize that you don’t have the resources to effectively self-publish, you may decide to query agents or small publishers instead. 

If your goal is to write full-time, consider other income streams you could develop to speed up your timeline (like editing…cough cough), or set a goal to figure out a way to make peace with having a part-time writing life. 

The same goes for writing goals. Are you trying to set a consistent writing habit when writing every day is out of reach? Try setting a consistent weekly habit. Or consistent monthly habit if your schedule is even more variable. [Need help with that? Check out my post on flexible goal setting here]. Again, the options are endless if you can let go of the idea that you have to hit some sort of arbitrary standard in order to be “successful.”

3) Don’t sacrifice your health 

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you should never wake up early or stay up late to write. But if you neglect sleep too long or too often, it will backfire.

If you stop eating healthy foods or sacrifice all of your exercise sessions to make time for writing, your physical health and creativity will suffer. 

This also applies to our relationships and self care. Take time to engage in stress relieving activities. Even if writing time is your “me time,” once you start pursuing writing as a serious goal it will become something that taxes your mental & physical energy. Even if you love it, you can burn out if you’re not careful to rest and recharge.

Social connections are also crucial. If you never see or talk to your partner because you’re constantly writing, that relationship may be strained. If you skip out on family events or meetings with friends, you invite loneliness into your life and an added dose of guilt for not being there for the people you love. And extra stress and frustration is the last thing any of us need. Trust me, you can be a committed writer and still make room for other parts of your life. [Don’t believe me—check out my post here].

4) Find joy in your current situation 

It might be difficult, but try to appreciate where you are right now in your writing journey.

Do you have an amazing editor who gives you insightful, usable feedback? Great. Cherish them!

Do you have a supportive partner who sometimes makes dinner so that you can spend more time writing? Amazing. Give them an extra smooch and say thank you.

Do you have a writing group that always cheers you up after a rejection? Stay committed to them and lean on each other! 

Have you become a better writer than you were when you started? That’s great! Take the time to celebrate your progress.

Thinking toward the future is great, but don’t forget the small steps in between. Otherwise, you won’t know how to celebrate yourself when you finally reach that goal and start thinking about the next goal to chase.